Congratulations, You're in a Couple with an ADHD Person
The User Manual: A Survival and Love Guide for the Non-ADHD Partner
- Includes a Quick Start Guide and Troubleshooting
- Batteries not included. Patience recommended.
- Given to you by someone who loves you
Who it's for
Congratulations, you're in a couple with someone who has ADHD. Be welcome! You fell for someone wonderful: funny, creative, spontaneous. You also fell for someone who forgets the bills, starts five projects and finishes none, and drifts off mid-conversation. You may have a lot of questions. This book is for you. You are not alone, and you are not crazy.
This is the guide for the partner without ADHD. It explains, in plain language and backed by research, why your partner does what they do, and it gives you practical, tested ways to stop the parent-child trap, share the load fairly, argue less and reconnect.
Includes a Quick Start Guide and a Troubleshooting chapter. Batteries not included. Patience recommended.
- Why "if you loved me, you'd remember" is the wrong question
- The parent-child dynamic, and how to get out of it
- Systems for chores, money and time that don't need nagging
- Conversation scripts for the hardest topics
- How to support treatment without becoming the therapist
- How to protect your own wellbeing, and when to get help
Made to be given
Many readers receive this book from someone with ADHD who wants to be understood. Inside the front cover there's a gift page for your own words.
What's inside
- What You Actually Signed Up For
- It's Not About Love: Reading the Behaviors Right
- The Parent-Child Trap
- Breaking the Fight Cycle
- Talking So You Both Feel Heard
- Ten Hard Conversations, Scripted
- Sharing the Load Fairly
- Money Without Fights
- Time, Lateness and Plans
- Anger, Hurt and Repair
- Rebuilding Trust and Goodwill
- Romance, Intimacy and the Fading Spark
- Parenting Together
- Late Diagnosis: When ADHD Is Discovered Years Into the Relationship
- Gender, Expectations and the Mental Load
- When You Both Have ADHD (or You Suspect You Do)
- Supporting Treatment Without Becoming the Therapist
- Taking Care of You
- Red Flags and Hard Decisions
- Troubleshooting: Twenty Hot Spots
- Your 30-Day Reset Plan
Questions
Is this medical advice?
No. It's an evidence-based guide with a source for every claim. It never replaces a qualified professional, and it reminds you often to see one.
Is it based on research?
Yes. Every factual claim cites published research or clinical guidelines, listed at the end of the book.
Is it long?
Short, practical chapters. Each one ends with a few concrete actions to try this week.
